


Sometimes nightmares occur when you are awake.

by Raeskywalker



Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: Bombs, Coffee, Eating Disorders, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Mission Reports, Multi, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 10:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13996110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raeskywalker/pseuds/Raeskywalker
Summary: (DIFFERENT ENDING TO EP 4)That night, when Noah goes home he can't disregard those terrifying moments when he believed that he had murdered the team. And when he wakes up sweating, limbs thrown about and hyperventilating. He understood that this wouldn't be the end of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my interpretation of what would have happened at the end of Episode 4, "Break out."  
> I have looked online and there is not a lot of fanfictions including Noah if any centred around him. So I decided to kill tradition. This is going to have multiple chapters. I do not own anything, David Straiton owns the episode and all rights go to the creator, Dean Georgaris and NBC.

"They are 50 yards out, you call that strike now, they die." Hannah's voice echoed in his head.

Noah ignored her as his brain forced out the statistics, _affecting in a range of 0-300 yards (0-3km) there is an immediate chance of death, depending on the blast and how much debris gets stuck in the crossfire._

He tore through the facts over and over, until he twisted around to Hannah and spoke, trying to keep his voice free from any emotion. "She'll move, it's a tactic."

"And what if it's not?" Hannah's fearful eyes reflected onto the screen above him, as her doubtful voice floated above the noise.

Noah wasn't stupid, he had heard what _they_  had said a few minutes ago on the comm, _Kill the men and capture the woman._ He knew what that meant and he was willing to risk it all if it meant saving Jaz and Cambell from hell. He took a shaky breath as he forced out

"Then it's a better death than the alternative."

"Tell them to fire" He orders, ignoring the shock and terror plastered onto Hannah's face as the man replays the orders down the line.

"Dalton-bird is away." He informs down the comm, "40 seconds to impact." He warns, he heard Cambells threats, shots and yelling, all which merged into a cacophony of noise as his head throbbed.

"20 seconds." His own voice barely penetrating through the sound.

"Noah! Bagram. The food crates are rigged!" Dalton recalls the precious information.

"Give Bagram the intel." He renounces suddenly.

He catches Dalton yelling something barely audible as the screen erupts in a cloud of brown and red, the sound deafening.

"Dalton, status." He orders, but static is just his reply.

He's shaking as Hannah turns around, raw rage filled up in her eyes, tear tracks trailing down her face.

"You killed them! You murderer!" She spat out with as much venom as she could muster.

Suddenly, Noah found himself on the battlefield and as the cloud of debris cleared, he saw 6 dead bodies, bloody and cold.

His eyes widened in shock, denial laced in his expression as he ran forwards, but finding himself getting nowhere.

Hannah's accusing tone reverberating as he collapsed to his knees, sobs choking him as moist droplets settled upon the soil that had so much bloodshed.

Noah's eyes shot open, his cheeks were moist and his body was bathed in a clammy sweat, the sheets were twisted around his limbs. As his heart hammered against his chest, threatening to run away.

It was a dream, he told himself as buried his trembling hands in his face, willing himself to stop crying.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its pretty much Noah going to work.  
>  Self-doubt will be included and as well as the start of an eating disorder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, at the moment, there won't be any relationships because I suck at writing love and stuff, but if you guys want, comment anything, feedback, requests, help.   
> I love reading comments!  
> Here you go!  
> In this Noah lives in an apartment, I don't know why but I just imagine him living in one.  
> This chapter is really boring, next chapter will be better I promise. It's just that this one was dragging on too long and I didn't want it too long.

Noah hunched over the uninviting cold sink, he could hardly recognise his ashen, ghostly face staring at him. Grimacing at the deep, heavy bags underneath his sunken eyes, different emotions burning through the tender chocolate orbs.

Anger.

Hate.

Guilt.

All directed at himself.

He was suffering.

That night he couldn't fall back to sleep and so he lay there recalling, drowning in guilt. Thinking about all the times he had messed up in missions and someone had gotten injured because of his errors.

He was shaking, he couldn't stop trembling.

Violently.

He glimpsed at his watch, the only thing left he had of his fathers, the thought crossed his mind as stared at the ancient leather face, weathered with time.

**5:19 AM**

He was already dressed, had been ready for hours. With nothing, but his thoughts to occupy him.

The corresponding images circling his head, like sharks preparing for an attack.

Noah strode towards the door, his black satchel case in hand as he gingerly secured the door, wandering through the abandoned hall. He had already thought about having breakfast, but just the sheer thought of eating made his stomach turn.

 His footsteps seemed to reverberate, the sound making him flinch at the harsh tone. 

He automatically shuffled to the elevator, pressing the button and as the light, faint music began repeating. He slumps against the bar, his thoughts betraying himself.

_You killed them._

“No!” He chocked out, his voice hoarse and scratchy, “They’re alive.”

_No thanks to you._

As he remembers the blood-stained and lifeless corpses, his blood runs frozen, remembering Hannah's accusing tone “You killed them, you murder!”

Noah clenched his fists, knuckles the colour of sleet, as his clumsily bitten nails left crescent-shaped depressions against his palm.

He scarcely heard the ding of the elevator, signifying that he had made it.

He was confined in his own mind and drowning.

Without another thought, he mindlessly made his way towards his car. If he was in the right state of mind he would’ve politely understood that it probably wasn’t the best to be driving, like this.

But he wasn’t.

Noah blinked as the extensive building grew within focus, he was here.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he zoned out through the whole 20 minutes.

He gradually parked and stared as the suns rays grazed the edge of the sky, the sky a canvas of bright and vibrant colours.

As if on autopilot, he found himself scanning his passcode as the door clicked in approval, the halls where empty. Deserted. As the automatic door greeted him, the sight of a familiar blonde greeted him, typing furiously on the computer.

“Morning boss.”

As she twisted his way, her eyebrows scrunched up as she contemplated the sight before her. “Noah.” Her tone, startled. “You’re early.”

He shrugged as he gave her his best fake version of a smile and made his way towards his desk.

And as he sat down, Patricia ordered out "I left the report on your desk, you need to fill in and hand back to me by the end of the day."

His eyes settled on the simple, crisp envelope, sprawling innocently on his keyboard.

He already knew what it was, it was the report...

For yesterday.

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daltons team is on the move to Washington DC to infiltrate a mole. While, Hannah and Patricia start to notice somethings wrong with Noah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ok. I know I've left this for ages, but honestly I don't know how this is going to go, I've had writers block. And I'm really sorry about leaving this for so long. Anyway heres chapter 3!!!

"Noah?" A gentle voice, overflowing with concern reached him, as he spun in his chair to spot Hannah towering above him.

"Yeah?" He answered, blinking rapidly through the tired fog of forcing himself to stay awake.

Noah lowered his gaze down to the floor, avoiding Hannah's anxious glare.

"Noah are you okay? I have been calling you for ages and you have missed lunch." She points out. 

Damn Noah muttered a curse under his breath, she noticed.

Honestly Noah actually didn't even know what time it was, he just stared at the white word document ooened upon his computer unable to form any words to explain why he had almost killed everyone. 

He cleared his throat before giving a much demanded answer by Hannah. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just been busy."

Hannah looked unsure before dropping the subject. "Patricia needs us straight away."

Noah curtly nods before turning the screen off the computer, the white parchment reminding him of his mocking him, before following Hannah into Campbell's office.

He sat there waiting for the next mission, and was shocked when he heard Patricia's voice echo "Dalton and his team are coming here."

He was numb with confusion, as she sighed wearily "There has been a mole, so for now no one knows of this except for the bare minimum. This stays between us and dosn't get out. Understand."

Patricia's eyes bore into Noah accusingily and Noah forgot to breathe for a second.

Boss dosn't trust me. Well that makes 2 of us. He thought

He nodded as they retreated from the room, Hannah tapped his sholder "Aren't you going to get something to eat?" She queried.

Truth be told, he wasn't hungry but if he declined Hannah would know something was up, but if he ate he didn't think he could keep the food down.

"I'll just get some coffee." He replied and sighed with relief when Hannah returned a ghost of a smile back, shaking her head as they winded towards the cafeteria. "You and your coffee."

He visually relaxed when he was only back in his seat with Hannah gone, chatting to another employee. Before inhaling sharply as he picked up the creased paper reading it for the millionth time. The sharp paper crinkling as his hands trembled, the cursive writing just barely audible.

Noah Morgenthau.  
Date: 19th october 2018

You are qualified to write a detailed report of what happened, how you reacted and acted on the 18th of October. This needs to be a full step by step of the sequence.

By this he stopped reading, blinking back memories of yesterday and the nightmares that followed. He stared into the thick , brown liquid and even though his face was distoreted by the coffee. He was shocked at how tiny droplets plopped into the coffee as he willed himselfto stay strong.

Knock knock.  
"Come in" Patricia invited as Hannah peeked through the door.  
"Hannah" She smiled "What can I do for you?"  
"I honestly don't know. I don't know why I'm here and I have a feeling this is just going to make it worse, but I'm really worried and I'm not sure what is going on." Hannah rushed on, her hands wringing together with apprehension.

Patricia held her hands up. "Slow down" she instruced "Breathe , and tell me what is bothering you."  
Hannah sighed before saying slower. "I'm worried about Noah"


End file.
